There is something so freeing about expressing the feelings or the hurt someone has caused you. Sometimes the words don’t need to be spoken to that person but to let them out of your head helps immensely. I encourage you to try it this week. So here are mine….
Life isn’t cheap. My days are numbered and having you in my life is too expensive. Everyday you cost me my peace. Something that can never be returned or exchanged.
Everyday I am writing my book and everyday I am choosing to turn the page and sometimes I have to start a new chapter. This chapter is one I am choosing to write without you. I will not apologize for leaving you out. I will admit sometimes I feel guilty because leaving you out affects so many other lives. I have to remind myself that I can not let you write my story for me. I made that mistake once and I choose not to do it again. I will not put you in a place that makes me vulnerable and I will not give you the authority to do that again.
I didn’t stand my ground because of fear. The emotion I try so hard to run away from. I felt like standing up for myself would label me as an insensitive Bitch. But look where it has me now; vulnerable with raw wounds. I’ve learned my lesson and that is why I am standing my grounds now. I know what I am capable of and I know I am worthy of respect. Respect is something earned and in the mess of this all I’m afraid I have lost my respect for you. I know my badge of authority has been stripped on your end as you have seen me raw and vulnerable and weak. In my state of helplessness you chose not to help in a way I could receive and through that I have received the message loud and clear that I am no longer appreciated.
That is ok. I am ok. I have people who do know my worth and that doesn’t even matter. Because you know what? I KNOW MY WORTH! Wow. It is so freeing to know how strong I can be. To hold my head high at my lowest point and I hate to spoil the ending for you, but I will be ok and I will pull through.