Resilience

When I got my tattoo on my back last summer, I truly didn’t think it would be so meaningful to me today. Which looking back is crazy, I have this tattoo for the rest of my life!!!! Anyways, I was on the way into the city with a girlfriend and we decided to get tattoos and so we started pinteresting and I found a quote saying “strength is what we gain from the madness we survive“. At that point I thought I had lived through my madness and it was done, so in my mind I was like how cute and perfectly fitting. Little did I know that the madness had only begun.

Today I have a big change thrown at me. I am starting in a new workplace for the time being. I am feeling like a bit of a failure as I know I can not return to my regular role because I am not ready to potentially face triggers everyday yet. So in my failure I am choosing to be resilient; knowing I am the only one who is able to assume the responsibility of picking myself up. Today I am accepting any change that may happen to me and I know I can choose to spend the same amount of energy being miserable or making myself strong!

I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become. So I choose to pick myself up and rebuild in a way that makes broken look beautiful. I choose strength. I find it ironic that my name means “strong one”, I never really thought I was strong and as everyday goes by I realize I am not, but I continue to choose strength and I continue to persevere and be resilient. So for today, strength means accepting change and accepting that it’s ok to feel pain, I am a survivor after all.

 

 

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